Lily and the Stag
by Lemon Drop of Doom
Summary: AU.LJ.preDH.Lily's 7th year at Hogwarts is going to be a lot more difficult than she ever could have anticipated it to be, thanks to a certain raven haired boy and a mystery that sends shivers down her spine.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize! Pinky Swear!**

**Lily's POV**

My room was small, with a window seat tucked into a niche in the wall opposite the door, covered in crumpled pieces of paper and novels with dog-eared covers. This was where I slept, while my twin sized bed that sat along the adjourning wall lay empty for many nights at a time. I wasn't a rich girl- I didn't have a computer, nor a closet full of expensive designer clothing, but I considered myself the luckiest girl in the world to have such wonderful neighbors: the Audley's.

Rose Audley, nicknamed Rosie, had been my best friend since kindergarten. We walked home from school together every day, and when I got my Hogwarts letter, so did she. We were like sisters, only closer now, since my own sister Petunia disowned me the very Christmas I came home during my 1st year. And as my own parents began to love me less and less, Rosie's loved me more and more, until they told me quite honestly, that I was like a second daughter to them.

Rose and I had the friendship many would and did envy, but my home life was more of pity than jealousy. My parents used to adore me, and take pride in my being a witch, but now I was like a guest in the house, the cousin who showed up uninvited but had to be housed out of politeness. By this time my sister had gone so far as to spend weeks at a time at her friend's home, coming back only to get fresh clothes before going to a different friend's home, and to reassure her safety to Mum and Dad.

I'm not saying I was a Mary Sue of sorts, no not at all. I had a quick temper founded on assumptions, mostly false, and could never _ever_ do anything half way, as Rosie was quick to point out. And I had a love for thinking that, because of the unavoidable daydreaming that came along with it, got me in trouble alarmingly often.

I was in the middle of a debate with myself about when would be a suitable time to start studying for NEWTS, when a knock on my window made me jump out of my seat. Literally.

I crawled across the boring, brown carpet to the window seat and pulled back the curtains to find none other than Rosie herself, smirking at me in my pajamas so early in the evening.

I opened the window and pushed the screen out, so that she could crawl in. Rosie did, her jean mini skirt making it difficult to do so.

When Rosie was standing on her feet again, she simpered down at me from her impressive height of 5'7". Damn the tall…

"Well?" She asked expectantly.

I blinked. "Well what?"

Rosie sighed exasperatedly, overdramatic as usual. She tucked a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear, and reminded me calmly, "Lily! You're coming over? For the rest of the summer? Remember? Diagon Alley… 7th year… _school…_"

"Oh!" I shouted, followed by, "ohhh…"

"You forgot to pack…" Rosie assumed correctly.

"I forgot to… ask." I mumbled, kicking a crumpled piece of paper with my toe.

Rosie raised her eyebrows in a traditional Audley look that Rose shared with her father. It meant, "You have to be kidding me."

I couldn't very well leave without at least telling Mum and Dad where I was going, but if I asked they would surely say no… we were going to Diagon Alley _tomorrow_, and leaving on the train a weekend later!

"Right. Well we better get packing then!" Rosie said cheerfully, and dug my trunk out of my closet.

"But Rosie… My Mum and Dad aren't going to let me go… You know they won't!"

"That is why we aren't asking! Leave a note on your bed, by the time they notice you're gone you'll be sipping tea outside a shop on Diagon Alley with me, and they won't be able to say a thing against your coming with me un-chaperoned! Now go write your note… I'll do the packing. I know you have some cute stuff in here, you just never pack any of it!"

I stared at her, sitting on her feet in front of my trunk, her solid, athletic body bent over a jean skirt nearly identical to the one she had on. "For weekends…" I heard her mutter.

"Rosie…" I started, but couldn't find anything to argue with. She was right. I hated when she was right. I gave a sigh, and then grabbed my favorite pen and a sheet of paper and sat down on my window seat, legs crossed, and began to write.

Half an hour later, heaven knows what Rosie packed, but my note was on my bed, and I was dressed in an outfit Rosie saw fit to clothing me in. I didn't even know I owned a yellow sundress, but so be it.

We climbed out of my first story window, somehow managing to pull the very fat and heavy trunk out behind us. Rosie placed the screen back in the window, and together we walked back to her house, dragging the trunk behind us.

I smiled as we stepped through the front door, breathing in gulps of familiar air that smelled of whatever goodies Rosie's mother had cooked up for dinner.

I took off my shoes and set them next to the door, enjoying the coolness of the tile on my bare feet. I had only stood up before the vicious man eating dog that was actually Rosie's puppy, Ralph, attacked me. I picked up the tiny, squirming ball of fur with a smile and carried it down the hall to Rosie's room, abandoning my trunk next to my shoes.

Any doubts I had about practically running away from home left me as soon as I entered the spacious room that belonged to Rosie. I smiled at the cheerful yellow walls and threw myself on the queen sized bed Rose was lucky enough to claim as her own.

I hugged a large, frog shaped, pillow to my chest, and sighed, feeling as if I could stay there forever in Rosie's company.

But Rosie had a different idea and decided to sit on me.

I let out an "oomph" and attempted to roll over, but Rosie kept me from moving anywhere. In the summer she was an avid football player, while during the school year she played beater for the Gryffindor quidditch team. Obviously, she was quite strong. I was almost positive that the rest of my life would be spent being sat on by my best friend, when a knock on the door announced the arrival of Suyuan Audley, Rosie's mum. Rosie threw herself off of me, landing quite ungracefully in a heap on the floor.

Suyuan opened the door, just in time to see her daughter slide off the bed. She rolled her eyes and began to mutter in Chinese, as she often did when she couldn't think of what to say in English. Before Suyuan could embarrass her daughter _too_ much, I threw myself at her screaming, "Mum!" and engulfed her in a hug.

Suyuan smiled and held me back at an arms length, looking me over. She was the same height as me, a proud 5'2". Her black hair reached the backs of her knees when she let it down, but today it was braided and wrapped around the back of her head. Her face was slightly wrinkled, and her eyes had an oddly sad twinkle in them, as if she were remembering some sorrowful event in her life. A million times I'd look into her eyes and want to ask what had happened, but I'd never gotten the courage to do so.

"You look good, bun. Where have you been?" She asked, using her nickname for me, founded by my love for cinnamon buns.

"Oh, you know, around," I shrugged. Suyuan knew all about my family problems, but I didn't want to ruin the happy mood explaining everything. Suyuan was my confidant, and knew just as much about me as Rosie.

Rose laughed, "It's top secret Head Girl stuff, it is!" Only I could hear the jealousy buried deep in her voice. Rosie had a craving for power, and got none of it this year, as I had stole the role of Head Girl, and someone else was going to be the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain.

Suyuan smiled, not understanding but not needing to. "You girls are having movie night?" She asked, and Rosie nodded eagerly, smiling with a hint of evil, in that Rosie Recipe that was meant for me.

I grimaced, knowing exactly what Rosie had in mind.

Suyuan left, laughing a little, to get us some food that would probably all be eaten by the almighty vacuum cleaner. Of course I'm talking about myself.

Before the door was even halfway closed Rosie was attacking a box overflowing with movies. She found the one she was looking for with an "aha!" and I groaned.

She popped it into the DVD player and I buried my head into my favorite pillow again, being overdramatic mostly for Rosie's benefit. Rose laughed as she fast forwarded through the credits, and stopped when she reached what I recognized through sound as the beginning of her favorite movie.

I began to hum loudly, so loud that I'm almost positive it shouldn't be called humming, more like screaming with a closed mouth. But I had seen this movie countless times with Rosie, and new exactly what was happening.

Two men are in a submarine sort of thing; one of them is digging through rubbish with the machinery. The other finds a safe in the water, then they take it up to look for this magnificent jewel, and instead they find a painting of a naked woman. Said naked woman (now clothed and old) is watching on TV as they find it.

And before I realize it I've stopped screaming/humming. Then I take my face out of the pillow. And I begin to watch the movie Titanic, really watch it. I find myself getting into the movie, getting almost scared when Rose (in the movie) tries to kill herself, and sad when she doesn't follow her heart straight away, and then I'm happy, and smiling without realizing it when she goes to a lower class party with Jack, and has fun just being herself… Sometime in the movie Suyuan brought food, but I don't know when. All I know is that by the time Titanic has sunk, and Jack is dead, that I am openly sobbing. Not just a single tear down the cheek, but huge, body shaking sobs.

"I hate you," I tell Rosie when the movie is over and I'm still stifling tears. Every freaking time I watch that movie I cry, and I know it's not just because Rose lost her love, but also because I didn't have a love. I didn't love anyone with that passion, and was missing out on it. "Why do you do this to me?" I ask, being overdramatic yet again.

Rosie, too, was trying not to cry anymore. "Because I love it! Now it's your turn to pick a movie!"

And of course I just had to follow that up with another movie filled with love and moments that would make me cry… or sob… because it was a movie night tradition!

I decided on a Disney movie, Cinderella! It would have Rosie and I in tears in no time. But as soon as the movie began to play I was drawn from the room to attack Christopher Audley, Rosie's dad.

He had barely shut the front door and I was there, giving him the biggest hug in the history of forever.

"I'm happy to see you too, Lily!" He shouted, hugging me back.

It wasn't until he looked down at me, smiling, that he saw I had been crying, and frowned slightly.

"Movie night?" He asked, and I laughed in agreement, followed be a sniff. "I thought so! As long as you girls are ready to go by tomorrow afternoon it's fine by me if you spend the night sobbing…" He said with a wink.

He was tall. Very tall. So tall that you felt the urge to ask him about the weather up there, not because you wanted to be funny with an incredibly old joke, but because you really wanted to know. He looked almost exactly like Rosie, with dark brown hair and dark violet eyes that almost looked black. His smile was all his own, however. He smiled as if he had a secret.

A sudden sob escaped from the room, and Chris laughed. "That one was to get your attention, I'm sure. Shall I join you in your plot to permanently stain the carpet with your tears?"

"No, I believe that last 'sob' was trying to tell me to get in there and watch the movie I picked, and to hurry. No mention of parents in the sob, sorry!" I said, though somewhat regrettably. He was like a father to me, and I hardly ever saw him because of his job. He was a baker, and owned a bakery downtown. He was there almost every day, and because of my parent's plot to keep me grounded all summer (for reasons that I couldn't begin to comprehend), I was almost never over here.

I shrugged and skipped back into Rosie's room. Rosie was sitting cross-legged in her pajamas, staring with intent at the TV.

She didn't look up at me once, only continued to stare while the Fairy Godmother sent Cinderella, who was now beautiful, on her way to the ball to meet her Prince Charming.

I was in the middle of changing into Rosie-Approved pajamas when Rosie herself said loudly, startling me, "She's beautiful because she feels beautiful. I want you to feel beautiful, Lily."

"What are you talking about?" I asked her, already knowing exactly what she was talking about.

"Oh, peeshaw! Don't act clueless. I'm giving you a makeover! Tomorrow. And you have to stick with it, if you like it that is. M'kay? M'kay."

Countless times I had stared at Rosie and been jealous of her confidence. Could a make over really give me that? I decided to give it a shot, and lay down on the floor beside Rosie to watch the rest of Cinderella. When the movie was over, Rosie put on another chick flick that I couldn't remember the name of.

When I woke up it was to the smell of cinnamon buns.

Rosie had apparently already woken, and told me in her loud, clear voice "Cinnamon buns later. Makeover _now._"

I could hear my stomach growling already.

Sitting up, I saw that Rosie had once again followed tradition and slept on the floor, leaving the bed alone for Ralph to sleep in.

Then I saw what else was on the bed.

My stomach growled louder.

"Wow." That was all I could say as I let my hand wander over the sea of mascara, lip-gloss, and a thousand different colors of eye shadow. There were bottles of foundation, and compacts, and a sinister looking device that I would never let near my eyes, but with my luck that would be exactly where it would go. And I couldn't ignore the box full of manicure and pedicure supplies. "We are still planning on going to Diagon Alley this weekend right?"

"Ha Ha." She laughed sarcastically. "I'm doing this for your own good. And there will still be cinnamon buns when we're done."

I smiled at this prospect and sat down in the chair she told me to, preparing to sit through hours of torture, cinnamon buns on my mind.

Surprisingly, it only took an hour. And it had been painless, for the most part. There was the _slight_ discomfort of tweezing my eyebrows. And the sinister device _did_ come dangerously close to ripping my eyes out of my head. But other than that it really wasn't _so_ bad.

Rosie's complimentary "Wow" assured me I wasn't transformed into a hideous monster. A look in the mirror doubly assured me.

"Holy cheese on crackers, Rosie, thank you!" I screeched. Every scrap of make up on my face seemed to simply elaborate the features I already had. A little eyeliner made my bright green eyes brighter. A little blush, and my smile seemed ten times as pretty, as did my frown- an odd thing to be pretty. Was it odd to be pretty? I remembered the way I looked before the makeover and the after, and I realized I was the same, only now what made me pretty was obvious. I was pretty? What? Could it be? Another look in the mirror told me it was. My nails were pretty too. Rosie had spent quite a long time working them into the perfect length and painted them a light, natural shade of pink, all the while cooing that my nails were perfect, and how she wished _she_ didn't have to wear fake ones. I smiled, looking down at my very real nails, wiggling my toes when I remembered how it had tickled when Rosie worked on those. Even my body was beautiful, Rosie having chosen clothing that actually matched for once, and fitted. I had on a rather flirty green skirt, that twirled prettily when I spun in a circle, and a formfitting white t-shirt that looked brilliantly white against my red hair, which I was wearing down for probably the first time in my life. I fell down to the middle of my back, and I smiled, because I was pretty, and new it.

I felt beautiful, just like Rosie said I should.

"Oh Rosie I love you!" I screamed, and gave her a huge hug.

Rosie laughed, and finished getting herself ready. "I love you too?"

A suddenly urgent growling of my stomach reminded me of an extra reward. "Cinnamon buns!"

Rosie laughed again, "Yes, yes, go eat. Then we have to go… remember?"

I did remember, and she knew I did, so I left, skipping to my favorite food in the whole world.

"Hey bun! Breakfast been ready for quite a while, what has Rosie been doing to you all morning?" Suyuan asked as she walked into the kitchen. I turned around and smiled, my answer.

Suyuan laughed in delight. "Makeover?"

"Your daughter has talent!" I said, and resumed on my quest to reheat the cinnamon buns.

Suyuan beamed with pride, and set about to making tea for herself, Rosie, and I. Christopher and Rosie walked in the room shortly after, Chris looking comfortable in a t-shirt and shorts. I suddenly felt very short, so I moved over to the table, and sat down .

"Rosie, you've done well with this makeover." Chris said, his voice filled with tears. Of course he'd get choked up, we were going to be leaving soon, and not coming back until Christmas. I wouldn't even be back then, as Rosie and the family were going to visit family, and my parents had already said "no".

Suddenly I wasn't so hungry, but I knew that when I stopped eating it would be time to leave. Slowly, I took another bite.

When I had finished eating, I stared at my empty plate, once again deep in thought. I looked forward to going to school, but the next time I saw Chris and Suyuan, I will have graduated. Wow.

I glanced at my watch. It was nearly eleven, time to go. Everyone knew it, including the kitchen, whose walls seemed unwilling to host Rosie and I any longer.

"I'm sorry, wall." I said, and got up to hug the wall as well as I could. The wall apologized for being so impatient, and reminded me that I really must be going or else I never would. "You're right. It's time to go, Rosie,"

Rosie, Chris, and Suyuan stared for a moment, and then broke out into laughter.

"Yes, the wall is right, it's time to go." And Rosie and I said our goodbyes to Suyuan and Chris.

I promised to write every week to Suyuan, and she promised to write back, and then handed me a small silk pouch, and told me it was an early birthday present, but not to open it until I got at the Inn. I smiled and tucked the pouch into my purse, thanking her all the while.

Chris hugged me so tightly I forgot how to breath, until he let go and found I couldn't say goodbye, because my throat was too tight.

A few hugs and a few more tears later, I was spinning in the fireplace, enveloped in green flames. I stepped out at the precise moment, my skirt still twirling, pulling my trunk with me. But before I could step out of the soot, my skirt was caught on a jagged brick.

"Oh bugger," I hissed, dropping my trunk with a loud _thunk._ I turned to unhook my skirt from the brick before Rosie showed up, and found that it was horribly tangled from the twirly thing it does when I spin.

"Here," a voice said, and suddenly someone about a foot taller than me was dangerously close to my leg, his hands dangerously close to mine. Then I was free, and this mystery person stood up straight.

"Thank you," I said, and looked up from my mostly unharmed skirt to find myself face to face with none other than one smiling James Potter.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own what you recognize!!!!!

My heart skipped a beat as I looked into his hazel eyes. His smile was genuine, forming tiny dimples that I had never noticed before. I felt the urge to reach up and stroke his cheek- kiss it, even. I didn't, however, but instead stared up at James, lost in time.

"Lily, could you help me with this?" Rosie said, and I jumped. I hadn't noticed she had already arrived. I tore my eyes away from James, and realized with a start that I was smiling. Facing away from James, I busied myself with Rosie's trunk.

Soft hands briefly brushed mine, and a blush crept onto my cheeks as my hands tingled from the contact with… with who?

With Potter, of course. He was helping me help Rosie.

I looked up yet another person decided to help- Tom the innkeeper.

I smiled, and he grinned back, taking her trunk upstairs. I looked around for mine, but found that Tom had already taken it up.

James was still standing beside me, and Rosie was right in front of me, smiling at something over my shoulder.

I didn't have time to turn around before large hands were covering my eyes, and a loud voice shouted, "Guess who, Lily-Poo!"

I let out a shriek and spun around to hug the only person in the world that called me "Lily-Poo". Sirius let out a loud bark of a laugh, and I felt so much more myself in his company. "Siri-Poo!" I cried, and hugged him tighter. He was, of course, much taller than me, but I didn't mind. I was too happy to have one of my best friends back for it to matter.

My eyes fell on James as I let go of Sirius, and I saw plainly jealousy across his face. I laughed, and teased, "Not jealous, now are we? I do believe I see the green of envy in your eyes."

James smirked; attempting to cover the wounded look he had had a moment before. "And I see the spark of confusion in yours, dearest Evans, for your eyes are the greenest here."

I rolled my eyes nonchalantly; thoroughly convinced that any strange emotions I had had for James a moment ago were the result of a lack of sleep and too many chick-flicks in too little an amount of time.

It was when I turned away to pay Tom my half of the stay at the inn that I noticed the look on Rosie's face. Recovering jealousy. A million times Rosie, Sirius, and I talked for hours about anything and everything- and a million times I never thought that Rosie might like him a little more than that.

I smiled a knowing smile at her, and she blushed slightly, looking at the ground.

I stifled a laugh, and looked back and Sirius who was talking animatedly to James. He suddenly looked at Rosie, then noticed I was watching him and screamed, "Fuck, Lily!" and jumped in the air, smiling. He landed with bent knees and bounced up again to his full height. This was the signature Sirius move, that Sirius could be seen doing when he got caught doing something embarrassing or against the rules, which unfortunately resulted in harsher punishments when he accidentally jumped on a professor's feet.

James was now looking between me, Sirius, and Rosie, laughing. Rosie couldn't be more confused. Intelligent and clever as she was, she was clueless when it came to people's affections for her- an odd quality in a person as confidant as she.

Rosie and I headed up the stairs to our room, my green skirt swishing around madly as we climbed. I couldn't wait to talk to Rosie, and tell her that Sirius liked her too. I wanted to make her happy, the way she made me happy all the time. And then a new, selfish thought popped into my head.

What if they started dating, and spending all their time together? Rosie would practically become a Marauder herself. I could never abandon her, so would that make me a marauder too? Hours with the arrogant Potter. My head reeled with this new thought.

I could lie. I could lie and say Sirius liked some other girl. But I looked up at Rosie, two steps ahead of me, and already saw the glow of confidence diminishing. No, I would stick through it for Rosie. For Rosie! I could always hang with Remus… I _did_ need to catch up on my reading…

We entered our room before I could wallow too deep in my sorrows. Standing in the doorway, I took in the scene. I'd want to remember what it looked like later, when I thought back on the day that Rosie became her happiest.

Our room was small, the door opening into a combined kitchen and living room complete with mini fridge and out of date and curiously stained tan couches covered with huge pink roses and grape vines. I threw my purse on the couch, and the purse bounced onto the floor, its contents somehow managing to stay inside. I left it there to open a door to the left, which opened into a bathroom with dirty looking white and navy blue checkered tiles and a rhythmically dripping showerhead. For some reason the shower did not have a shower curtain. Walking back into the Kitchen/ Living Room, I found the striped shower curtain, trying to separate the Bedroom from the teeny front room. The bedroom was plain; two full sized beds with matching navy blue bedspreads were evenly spaced along one wall, with a full-length mirror on the other, and next to it were our trunks, and Rosie's owl, Indigo.

This was where I found Rosie, crouching in front of Indigo's cage. I made to sit next to her, but Rosie shook her head.

"I don't want to talk about it." She said.

I shook my head, "No, you don't-"

"Understand? Look, I'm sorry. I'll talk to you about this. Later. I promise! But right now I'm tired, and I just want to rest for a minute, okay?"

I nodded, and left her alone. It was then that I found my purse, still lying on the floor. I bent over to pick it up, and set it on top of the mini fridge. A dark color contrasting with the green of my purse peeked from the opening.

I took it, and recognized it by touch as the pouch Suyuan had given me only moments before. In the excitement I had forgotten about it, but now I took it anxiously to the couch.

Holding the small pouch in my hands, I now looked at it for the first time. It was a beautiful black silk pouch, the size of my palm. Yellow and orange flowers seemed to sprout from the fabric, drooping sadly and sweetly across a captured nighttime. I rubbed my thumb over the woven threads of the flowers, and the silky smoothness of the silk, and found comfort there. I loosened the saffron yellow ribbons, to pull out the contents of the pouch. Inside were two things. The first was a second, smaller pouch that had belonged to Rosie last year. The pouch was red with gold trim and had a silencing charm on it. Inside were several galleons, surprising. Surprisingly because Rosie's parents are muggles. I set aside the money, smiling, and brought out the second thing. This was a piece of paper, folded into a small but thick square. I unfolded it, bringing my feet up onto the couch beside me, still tucked into the corner.

_My loving Bun,_

_I sewed and embroidered this pouch by hand when you were only 5 years old, coming over for a sleepover with Rosie. You two were inseparable from day 1, and I knew that if I wanted to keep my Rosie, I would end up "adopting" you, in a matter of speech. So I sewed this pouch for you, while you stared up at me from the floor with your wide green eyes. _

_I kept this pouch for many years. I wanted to give it to you at the right moment. I wanted to give it to you when I could tell you how much you mean to me, in perfect English. But as the years went by and you and Rosie grew closer, I realized that the right moment was any moment, and if I waited too long it would become impossible to tell you._

_So I am telling you now in a letter, with my huge Chinese to English dictionary to help._

_Once upon a time, I ran away from home. I was just a little older than you are now, maybe 18. I didn't speak any English, but I ran away anyway. You see, Rosie is like her mother in this area. My family was a very traditional and superstitious Chinese family. They wanted me to think with my head instead of feel with my heart. I couldn't function that way so I ran to England, where I worked at a bakery, cleaning. And of course, who's bakery would it be but Rosie's father. We fell in love with each other, then shortly after with our Rosie, and after that with you. My happily ever after is better than those of fairy tales. _

_I wanted to tell you this because I want you to know that there is no such thing as the right or wrong choice, just other choices. Never regret a choice made, especially if it once made you happy. Most of all know that no matter what you chose to do in any situation I will always support you. _

_Growing is up it tough work. You've figured that much out for yourself. But stick through it whatever way you can, and never forget how to _live._ The happily ever after at the end is more than worth the wait..._

_Much love and cinnamon buns,_

_Your surrogate mother Suyuan_

_P.S. The galleons in Rosie's old pouch are for you to buy an owl. I want you to send your own letters, not just ones to send with Rosie! _

I read the letter three times through, wanting to memorize it word for word. I was about to read it a fourth time when a series of knocks on the door interrupted me.

I got up from the out of date couch, which I decided to call Herbert, and opened the door. It was James, of course, and he was smiling brightly as usual. But then the smile dropped, and he looked concerned.

"What's wrong?" He asked, and too late I realized I had been crying.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just-" I stopped. Potter was showing concern for people other than himself? I was suddenly dizzy, and needed to sit down. "Here, come in."

The room was spinning. But why? Yes, it was amazing that James was in such a generous mood today, but not so incredible that I would actually feint at the thought of it.

_How about we don't feint at all then, Lily!_ I thought to myself and sat down on my corner of Herbert. James followed, shutting the door quietly behind him, and sat down next to me, facing me with a look of worry.

I picked up the letter again, then set it down, not sure what to do.

"What's wrong?" James repeated.

"Nothing… just a letter from my "surrogate mother".

"Surrogate mother?" he asked.

"Surely you know what surrogate means, Potter." I said rudely.

James smirked a little, glad that I felt well enough to taunt him.

"If you don't feel like talking about it you don't have to." He said matter of factly, and I attempted to shrug as if I didn't care, but for some reason I found that I _did _care.

"Well… the home life hasn't been too good recently…" I started, and James frowned in concentration, and I was startled yet extremely comforted to see that he was listening in an attractive way for once. Then I realized the idiotic comment I had just made aloud and laughed. "It hasn't been too good in a very long time."

"Why is that?" He asked, still frowning.

"Well… you know my parents are muggles. My sister Petunia is too, and she really _really_ doesn't like anything to be what she considers 'abnormal'. She's a little autistic, really! Well while I am away all year long Mum and Dad only have their pet Petunia, and they forgot about me, in a way. Or they tried to, at least. So Rosie, who is also my next-door neighbor, thank _God_, really is my only comfort during the summer. So I spend most of my days in the summer at her house, and the Audley's became my other family… by 'surrogate family', as Suyuan likes to call it."

James smiled sadly and nodded. He was listening so intently and attractively, I couldn't stop myself and went on to talk about my family had once actually rejoiced in my being a witch, but changed their minds when they saw that going to Hogwarts had changed me in a way they didn't like. He suggested that maybe they didn't like the way I was growing up- influenced by a magical school they don't know anything about.

I thought about it and smiled. Maybe he was right. It was a rather sad answer to my confusing situation, but it was an answer nonetheless, and I was grateful.

"Well," He started. It was then that I realized that he had not come here only to listen to me rant and rave about how pitiful my life was. "I really am sorry about all this… but you know, there is always something to celebrate! We have to look on the bright side!"

"What is there to celebrate?" I asked, and he blinked a few times, trying to think of something.

"Uh… we could celebrate… my being Head Boy! Uh, Sirius moved out of that hellhole- his parents' house- and into mine, and… you and Rosie look… nice? Let's be honest you're drop dead gorgeous."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm Head Girl, I think I'll celebrate that! And Rosie…"

"Rosie is celebrating the fan_tas_tic results of her last job as make-up artist extraordinaire!!" shouted Rosie herself, peeking her head around the shower curtain/room divider.

I laughed again, and stood up. I flipped my hair with a graceful hand and stuck a pose. James laughed his contagious laugh, watching me from the couch, Herbert.

"So what do you say we ignore the fucked up things about this world and drink to our success!?" James suggested, smiling widely.

"Fuck yes!" Rosie shouted, "Now help me get this shower curtain on the shower so we can get ready!"

James sprung into action, waving his wand this way and that while his hazel eyes sparkled with anticipation. I just stared at the ceiling, just happy that I could forget everything for one night. I wasn't about to forget how to _live._


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and my therapist tells me I never _will_ own Harry Potter. However, my therapist does not deny that I _do_ own the plot and the characters not created by JK Rowling. 

The plan was simple. In the evening the four of them would go out for dinner, maybe look around at the shops and then hit one of the clubs at the far end of Diagon alley. Rosie was glowing with happiness, and even I was looking forward to it. My mind was buzzing with a thousand thoughts at once, and an evening with Rosie and Siri-poo (especially now that I knew they both liked each other more than friends) sounded… fun. Even if _James_ would be there, maybe his change of attitude could last through the night.

Rosie and I were lying on my bed, talking about the coming year, and all the changes they expected to discover.

"Well, there's always one thing we can be certain of." I said, and Rosie looked at me questioningly, probably guessing at what I was about to say. "Potter will be as cocky and over confident as ever."

Rosie frowned at me, saying, "I wish you'd give him a chance. He's not _that_ bad. Most of the time. And he's a wicked quidditch player. And he really does like you; he probably loves you. I don't think there is anything he wouldn't do for you. I mean, look at the immense change he's gone through already this summer!

Immediately a blush crept onto my cheeks, and I turned my head away from Rosie, remembering the train-ride home last June.

**Flash Back**

The train had been nearing the station, and students were dashing around in the isle, getting back to their compartments and grabbing at their luggage. Rosie and I had been discussing something or other when the Marauders strode past our compartment, Potter grinning at us through the window. He stopped, suddenly, and said something to his friends. They all rolled their eyes and laughed, then continued to walk to their end of the train. Using the shiny window as a mirror, James fixed his hair, and then opened the compartment door.

"Lily," he had said, "may I have a word with you?" My faced burned red with anger. 'What could he possibly want now?'

_Rosie giggled as if she heard my thoughts, and whispered, "I'll leave you two alone." James cleared the doorway for her, and then sat down across from where I stood. Shutting the door with a smile, he motioned me to sit down, and, rolling my eyes in a very unladylike manner, I obliged._

_He opened his mouth to say something, but I interrupted him. "No."_

_He frowned, confused. "What are you talking about?"_

"_You were going to ask me if I would go out with you. My answer is no."_

_He smiled a little, but his eyes showed his hurt. "Well. Now that we got part of what I came to say covered, I'll ask you my second question."_

"_What is it?" I asked coldly._

"_What do I have to do?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I mean… What do I have to do so that you'll give me a chance?"_

_I crossed my arms, ignoring his pleading hazel eyes. "You have to prove to me that you _deserve_ that chance."_

"_I do deserve it! There's nothing wrong with me! Most girls would kill for a chance to be with me! I'm a great guy, I've got great looks, and I'm a kick-ass quidditch player, too! I'm funny, intelligent! Why don't I deserve you!?"_

I glared at him furiously, shouting, "You arrogant, over-confident, worthless piece of-" 

"_Shit! What do I have to _do_?! Just tell me, Lily! _What do I have to do_?!"_

We were standing up now, anger and hurt written across both our faces. "Grow up, Potter."

_James paled, and looked to be at loss for words. For a moment, he just stood there, before he nodded slowly, still not quite looking at me. I was surprised he didn't slap me or something._

_And then he was gone, leaving me with one whispered word, so quiet I wasn't sure if he meant for me to hear it. "Okay."_

** End Flash Back**

It was around five when I decided to bring up the subject of Sirius again.

"Is it later yet?" I asked Rosie as we stood in front of the bathroom mirror, fixing our hair and make up before we went out to dinner with the boys.

"I suppose." She sighed, and then asked, "What do you want to know?"

I paused. I could tell her that her feelings were returned, but I knew that no matter how self-confident she _normally_ was, she wouldn't believe me if I told her. So instead I asked, "Are you planning on telling him?"

"Of course I am. It's just a matter of when."

"Well… there's no time like the present?" I suggested, and Rosie turned to face me, her eyebrows raised in the traditional Audley face. I laughed loudly, seeing now that her makeup was only half way finished- only one eyelid had eye shadow on it. "You know what I mean!"

Rosie smirked, and then went back to her makeup. Slowly, she began to nod. "Maybe." she said, in a tone that closed the matter. I knew this to be a yes, but instead of saying anything I shrugged, then opened the tube of lip-gloss.

Rosie and I had just put our shoes on when there was a knock on the door. Rosie ran to open it while I snickered behind my hand. Sirius stood in the doorframe, smiling. "Good evening, ladies!" I saw that he and James were both wearing what they had been earlier, and I was glad an outfit change wasn't necessary yet.

"Shall we go?" I asked cheerfully, and the four of us made our way out the door. I was at the end of the hall when I realized that I had forgotten my money. Quietly I turned around and walked back to our room. I grabbed my new money pouch off the sofa, and shut the door behind me, happy to think that I might soon have an owl.

I was prepared to run to the alleyway to catch up with the group, and was startled when I found James waiting for me at the end of the hall. Smiling, he turned to meet me, and I couldn't help but notice how lovely he looked in a t-shirt and jeans.

"Everything okay?" he asked, and again I was startled into wondering if this new change could possibly be influenced by anything I said. Surely he would _hate _me after that argument!

I regained some composure, and put on a small smile. "Yes. I just forgot my money back in the room. I got it now, though."

James frowned. "Tonight is my treat to you. Sirius and I wouldn't make you girls pay for anything."

My cheeks flushed scarlet, and I told him, "Thank you, that's very kind. But I wanted to buy something at one of the shops while we are out. I've no idea how much it will cost, and I wouldn't have you pay for it anyway."

He chuckled, and we walked out into the small alleyway, tapping the bricks with James' wand. It wasn't until we entered the busy Diagon Alley that I realized Rosie and Sirius weren't there.

"Where are Rosie and Sirius?" I asked, and James chuckled.

"Right when you left- you'd only been just out of ear shot- both Rosie and Sirius declared they had something to tell the other, and… well, judging by their actions, it was pretty obvious they were going to profess their feelings for one another. I decided they would most likely want to have dinner alone, so that they could discuss some things that they might not want to in front of us. I told them, 'you two go on, have dinner amongst yourselves, and Lily and I will meet you back here before we go out to the club.' Naturally, they both agreed to it, and practically ran out of here. Being alone sounded pretty good to both of them, and secretly, I bet they wanted to corner you into having dinner with me alone. Sorry!"

I laughed, shaking my head. "I have a habit of leaving at the most unfortunate time."

"Would things have turned out any differently if you'd been there?" He asked, and with surprise I answered "No."

James and I being the famous mouths of the school, it wasn't a surprise when we both got the same thing at a small sandwich shop. We took a table outside, and spent most of dinner people watching, trying to guess at how old each person was or give them a life story.

I had just finished explaining to James how I knew that an older man with a dark blue had spent most of last night jerking off to American porn when he brought up Rosie and Sirius.

"Sirius loves Rosie. He always has, and always will. It was only doubt that kept him from telling her."

"Rosie… she's been very secretive about it all. She never told me, but I think that was also from doubt. I asked her to tell him today, and well… well I know they'll be happy together."

"Yes, that much is certain. But I'm worried about you."

"Me?" I asked, my cheeks again flaming scarlet. He chuckled.

"Yes, you. I'm an 'arrogant, over-confident, worthless piece of shit', aren't I? And here, with these happy lovers, you'll be forced to act friendly with me and be around me often. I worry about what it will do to your outlook on life."

"Ha ha." I laughed sarcastically. Silence stretched between the two of us, and I looked down at the table. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what?"

"You know. The argument we had on the train."

He shook his head quickly, and then turned to me with animosity. "No. Don't be sorry, I deserved it. I was out of line, and more immature than should be humanly possible. You were right, and I'm glad you helped me see the monster that I really was. Without you, I wouldn't have forced myself to change. But I have changed now- over the summer. It was hard, but… I don't know. I look at you and I know it was worth it."

"I thought you'd hate me after that."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but if anything I love you even more, now."

I grimaced at the word 'love', and then changed the subject. "I need to buy an owl. Only problem is… I've got no idea what to get."

"Well, lets go, then, and I'll help you however I can."

He understood that I didn't want to talk about love or anything at that moment, and I was grateful. Such a huge change in such a short time, I was still forming an opinion on this new person. It was like meeting a friendly stranger; only he knew everything about me, so it was more like meeting your friendly, yet harmless, stalker.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own it- ask my alternate identity. She would know.**

"What should I name him?" I asked a while later as we made our way up to our rooms. His and Sirius' room was next door to ours, to the right.

He walked in, checking to see if Sirius or Rosie was there. Seeing that it was empty, he opened the door wider for me to come in. When I was all settled and cozy on a couch so obviously a Roseanne instead of a Herbert, James sat beside me and answered, "hmm… I'm not sure."

Carefully I set the birdcage on my lap, and we both watched the owl with amusement. He was a medium sized barn owl, his feathers chocolate brown everywhere except for around his eyes, where the feathers were surprisingly white. He was hyper- right then he was jumping up and down in the cage, flapping his wings when he touched the ground before putting his wings down to jump again.

James smiled. "What about… Chocolate Surprise?"

"What?? No! I'm not naming my owl something that's going to make me hungry!"

"Fine then- name him something totally random! Like Elmo."

"Or Bon-Bon?"

"Yea, or Lemon Drop of Doom."

"_What_?!"

"Nothing. What about Fitzwilliam? I think that's quite lovely."

"Or lovelier yet, Mr. Darcy."

"Who is Mr. Darcy?"

I sighed exasperatedly. "Don't you _read_?"

"No. What book is this 'Mr. Darcy' from?"

"Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. It's a classic- you should read it sometime. Since you're _such_ a romantic."

James smirked. "What's it about?"

It wasn't until then that I realized I had picked the wrong book to introduce him to. I sighed again. "It's about this girl, Elizabeth, in the… well probably around the 1700s? I'm not sure. Anyway, she's the second oldest out of four siblings- all girls." This was where it would get awkward. "When a rich Mr. Bingley moves into the village, his richer friend Mr. Darcy comes with him. Mr. Bingley is soon admired by everyone- his behavior is amiability itself! However, Mr. Darcy completely lacks the appearance of goodness. He is proud, and Elizabeth soon decided to hate him forever. Quite unfortunate he should fall in love with her, of all people. When he proposes to her, he is rejected."

James was sitting quietly, now, watching me. "What happened next?"

"She names his faults until he leaves." I blushed deeply, and tried not to look at James. "Well, anyway. Elizabeth's very upset by it all, and so when they meet up again, she is very _very_ surprised to find that he is a changed man- all generosity and civility! She is shocked by such a transformation, and later she finds herself hopelessly in love with Mr. Darcy. Soon they discuss everything- they discuss _them_. He proposes again, and she accepts. And they both live happily ever after."

I tried not to watch James, but my eyes soon found his anyway. He was smiling slightly, but I didn't miss the sad look in his eyes. "I'll have to read that one. Lovely ending."

I smirked. "Mr. Darcy it is. Now, where are Sirius and Rosie?"

"I don't know. They should have been back an hour ago at the latest. We took a while getting your owl. Lets go check your room." He stood up, then extended a hand to help me up, and I took it, not thinking.

"I really am sorry about telling you off like that last June."

"Don't worry about it." He said, opening the door for me.

"I never expected such results, I admit. Taking me to dinner, opening doors for me? You've become quite the gentleman."

He chuckled, "It wasn't easy."

Smiling, I entered the room. "Oh dear."

Silence. The bed's creaking stopped, as did the moaning. Sirius' laughed loudly, his voice rasping slightly. Rosie giggled awkwardly.

"Oh fuck." I felt a cool hand slide over my eyes. "Rated X. Sorry, love." And James led me out of the room, chuckling at Sirius and Rosie, who I could no longer see. "Lock your fucking door!" He slammed the door, taking his hand off my eyes when we were in the hall. "Disgusting. I was a happy man before I saw that." He locked the door himself with his wand, shaking his head as he did so.

I didn't say anything. I didn't think I could. Because seriously… ew. Walking in on your best friends like that is…disgusting.

The shock didn't wear off until I was sitting on the edge of one of the beds, James beside me. "They loved each other more than I thought." I whispered, and James broke out into loud, uncontrollable laughter. Helplessly, I joined in. The ridiculousness of such a situation caught me off guard, and soon I was laughing hard- clutching my sides. James wouldn't stop- I couldn't stop. I didn't even stop laughing when I fell off the bed. Finally, sides aching, eyes streaming, I managed to control myself, and stood up to get back on the bed. James was sighing, wiping his likewise teary eyes.

Instead of sitting on the edge of the bed, I lied down on top of the covers. James, seeing what I was doing, lied down beside me, on his side to see me better. I didn't worry about him trying anything- I trusted him, and for no substantial reason. I just knew that I could. James began to frown. "What is it?" I asked.

"Everything's going to be different, now."

I nodded. "Yea. It is."

Rosie's dating Sirius. Rosie's fucking Sirius. I'm not yelling at James all of the time. I'm _friends_ with James. Rosie's fucking Sirius.

"Oh fuck!" I shouted, sitting up in bed. "Rosie's fucking Sirius!"

James laughed. "You didn't seriously _just_ find that out, did you?"

"No! It's just that- my clothes are in there! And where am I going to sleep?!" Rosie's fucking Sirius. I couldn't possibly go back in there- ha. I hadn't missed whose bed they were in. Yea. "_Thanks _Rosie. Does it take _that_ much effort to go to your own bed?"

James was looking at me sincerely now. "I'm not going to make you sleep out in the hall. And you can get your clothes tomorrow. Sirius will need his too, remember? Pajamas… uh… you can borrow some of mine. You'll be swimming in them, Little Lily, but it beats going back in there for your own stuff. And I really doubt they'll be coming out of there tonight."

Relief ran through me like a calming drought, and without thinking I gave James a peck on the cheek. "Thanks."

"No problem." I didn't miss the blush on his cheeks. Oh God. What did I do?

"What time is it?"

He checked his watch. "Nine."

I nodded. "Uhm. Can I take a shower? Or is that strictly forbidden?"

He laughed. "No, you can't. I want you to smell bad- worse than bad. I want you to smell like Mr. Darcy's shit."

"Oh, now? I had no idea you felt that way. What would you say I smell like, now?"

James smiled, and grabbed a lock of my bright red hair. He took a big whiff while I laughed loudly. He dropped my hair and let out his breath comically shaky. "Like the sky does after a rain storm. I'm afraid that'll never do- I love the rain too much for you to smell like it. What kind of shampoo do you use?"

"Strawberry. I can't remember the brand, though."

He nodded, understanding. "I haven't got strawberry shampoo. Or any shampoo. But there should be some in the shower from Tom. He's _such_ a sweetheart." I laughed at this, then hopped off the bed with all the energy of Mr. Darcy (the owl), who was spinning around in circles in his cage on the couch.

"Well hello there, Mr. Darcy! Shall I let you out of your cage so you can entertain Mr. Potter while I'm in the shower? Yes? Well, if you insist." I opened the cage and Mr. Darcy hopped around on Roseanne the couch for a while before flying over to James.

"Have a lovely shower!" He shouted, and I curtsied.

When the steaming water was flowing I let my thoughts flow in the same manner. So. Rosie and Sirius. Obviously, the two lovebirds (or should I say rabbits?) would be inseparable after tonight. They'd be as inseparable as Rosie and I, and as inseparable as James and Sirius. It was obvious; James and I would be around each other a lot this year. But was that a bad thing? His new attitude definitely made him a lot more enjoyable. He said he still loved me- loved me more than before. But loved me _how_ exactly? Loved me as a friend? That was possible. Last year Rosie and I had hung around Sirius often, which of course meant James was there often, but still, it wasn't every day or anything. But perhaps he 'loves' all his friends, and now he loves me more, out of gratitude? That was very possible. But plausible? He blushed when I kissed his cheek, but that could be from embarrassment of thinking I might like him _now_ when the feeling was no longer returned. Plausible. I smiled to myself- I'd be able to be myself around him, without worrying that I'm sending him the wrong ideas.

All nagging thoughts of James gone, I was pleased to find that the promised shampoo and soap from that _sweetheart_ Tom.

After I changed into the pajamas James handed to me through the door, I stood before the mirror, frowning. It was odd. I felt pretty when I dressed up in makeup and cute clothes, but now, when my hair was wet and my face clean, I looked in the mirror and didn't mind terribly what I saw. It was true- James' clothes were so large on me as to be comical- he promised to try shrinking them with his wand when I was done in the bathroom- but this was still me, and I liked me right then. Smiling at the huge dark blue and gray plaid pajama pants and white t-shirt, I grabbed my clothes and towel (for my hair) and left the bathroom.

"Ta-Da!" I shouted, slamming the bathroom door shut with my foot. "I present to you- Lily the Drowned Rat!"

James clapped and laughed. "Bravo! Bravo!"

Still drying my hair, I tossed my clothes in the corner by Mr. Darcy's cage, and ran to jump on James' bed. He lied down, staring up at me as I stood, and told me, "I can smell you from here, and you smell _lovely._"

"So sorry, silly Tom forgot to put the _bad_ smelling shampoo in the shower. I apologize deeply, I know how fond you are of it."

He nodded sullenly, and I jumped up and down on the bed a little before stepping down onto the floor again.

Later that night, when we were both in our separate beds (James having given his to me, saying he wanted to be able to say to himself honestly that his 'Little Lily' had slept in his bed, and I having thought nothing of it), I thought of everything but Sirius and Rosie next door, and was really happy- the happiest I'd been all summer.

**AN: 3 chapters for my reviewers! I got a new laptop (this one with wireless internet, unlike the old one) for Christmas, so I should be able to update much more often-- My goal is to post at least one chapter a week (maybe more, depending on my mood and the number of reviews), and if I ever make you wait longer than that it will be for a good reason. Like the one I am about to give you now, to explain that I wont update until this weekend. My grades not good grounding off computer for a week. Family thing... grawr! But it's only one week- I'll be online again by the weekend. But while I'm off... why not give me a review or two? Constructive, though. No flames unless you're going to explain WHY you hate it so much, and even then I'd like it to be something I can change (meaning, please understand if I completely ignore your request that I end the fic and delete it or completely reconstruct the plot).**

XD


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Sorry I've been neglecting you all- life has been a wreck- I've been planning my school's storytelling events, studying for Academic Decathlon, trying to keep my math grade up… and it doesn't help that a certain person keeps popping up in my head. Okay, I'll stop with the bitterness and complaining and get back to the fic, with the help of a little Kid Cuisine (by the way, that stuff is _bawm_!!).**

**Disclaimer: I bet you can predict what my next sentence is going to say. I like pie. Ha! I fooled you! Because I don't like pie, really. Apple is lovely, but other than that, no thank you. I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER! I'm sorry; did I startle you? Because it's true. XD**

_The common room was quiet- too quiet. Everything seemed to be as it should; the room was empty by now, everyone having gone to bed except for James and me. The hairs on my neck stood up anyway. I shivered, and drew my chair closer to the fire. James was looking around the room, also. He had a frown on his face- he felt the eeriness too._

_"Lily, I'm going to go check on something real quick, I'll be right back." And he went up the stairs to his dorm._

_Something in me told me to keep him here- screamed at me to stop him. I sat up in my chair, every part of me alert and alive. My heart raced, thudding in my ears. "Don't go!" I shouted at him, but James didn't hear me. He was at the door now, his hand reaching forward to grab the knob. _

"_Don't! Please! Don't go!" Every bone in my body screamed that something bad would happen if he walked in that room. But James was oblivious to my shouts, and stepped into his dormitory anyway. _

"_NO!" Without thinking I ran up the stairs, tripping twice. I moved as fast as I could, and faster, but I felt like I was running through sand. I knew what was wrong before I entered the dormitory- billows of black smoke clouded the entrance to the room. "James!" I shouted, running into the dorm. Red and orange flames licked the ceiling- it was impossible to tell where the fire had started. The heat was searing, and sweat poured down my back as I frantically searched the room. It was empty, and I was alone. "Don't go. Please, James! Don't leave me!" I screamed, terrified._

"_Lily! Lily, I'm right here." James said in my ear._

And he was there, trying to get me to calm down and wake up from the hellish nightmare that caused me to call out in my sleep. I was panting, sure that any second the flames would return, and James would disappear. "Don't go," I whispered, panicking.

"I'm right here," he whispered in my ear.

It was just a nightmare, I told myself, but I couldn't shake away the feelings of fear and dread. And then I was crying softly, not able to control myself. He was gone, he'd been gone. Lost in all those flames. It was my fault- he'd gone. And yet he was here?

"Shh… Lily, its okay. It was just a dream. It's okay, I'm here." He whispered.

"Don't leave me." I whispered, breathing unevenly.

James wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. "I'll never, ever leave you. Never ever."

I closed my eyes, squeezing the last tears out of my eyes, exhausted and yet afraid to sleep.

James kissed the back of my head. "I love you too much to leave you."

I didn't know I had fallen back asleep, but I must have since I woke up to find myself in a situation _almost_ as awkward as walking in on Sirius and Rosie the evening before.

I was curled under the covers, my head on James' chest, his arms still around me, but no longer holding tight. I wasn't sure what had woken me at first, until I realized James was awake, and that someone else in the room with us was in a whispered argument with him. Someone else in the room. And I was in bed with James.

I opened my eyes wide, panicking. In one harsh movement I tried to roll away from James, but over shot and fell onto the floor, squeezing my eyes shut again as I hit the ground with my back.

"Ow." I said, opening my eyes to find myself looking up at Sirius, who was standing inches away from my head.

"Great, now you woke her." James said from the bed. I heard the springs move before he was beside Sirius, watching me with concern. "Are you okay?"

He helped me up, and I sat on the bed, my cheeks scarlet with embarrassment. "Do you mean from the fall or…" I paused, looking at Sirius who was frowning, confused. "Never mind. I'm fine."

Sirius looked at me questioningly, but I kept my mouth shut. Instead I turned to look at James, who was watching me with curiosity. "You can go get dressed now, if you'd like to." He said, and with alarm I looked down to make sure I still had on pajamas. I was, but was startled to remember that I was wearing his. I blushed.

"Yes... I'll go do that."

I hopped off the bed, feeling very short, and strode out of the room so that they could continue their argument in private. Shutting the door behind me, I thought about the nightmare. It was slipping away now. I could hardly remember what had happened, only that I'd been terrified. And I remembered the flames.

I shook my head, trying to shake the nightmare away, as I walked into my room. "Rosie?"

"Lily!" was the elated reply, coming from the bedroom (the curtain was up again). I rolled my eyes and closed the door behind me, patting Herbert on the armrest as I walked past.

I pulled the curtain open with my wand, not bothering to say the spell aloud. Rosie was sitting in front of her suitcase, sitting on her feet as she often did. She turned around with a wide smile on her face. Oh, goodness.

"So I'm guessing your date with Sirius went well?" I said unnecessarily. She laughed.

"I _am_ sorry you had to go out with James alone, and even sorrier you had to see… erm… well… you remember…" She was blushing faintly.

I shook my head softly. "As long as you're happy…" I sat beside her, putting my hand on the edge of her suitcase.

"Oh, Lily! I _am_ happy! The happiest!" And she was. I could see it in her face- in her deep purple eyes. She was happy- not_ just_ elated to have had sex with Sirius, but to finally know that her feelings were returned. "I was so nervous yesterday- and you know me, I'm never nervous! But when we were on our way to dinner, I just couldn't keep it in anymore, and apparently he couldn't either because we both said we had something to tell the other! And then we went down to Diagon Alley and got some take out, then went back to the room to talk about… well, everything. One thing led to another… and you know what happened next." She was blushing again, playing with a thin yellow blouse in her suitcase.

I gave her a small smile, glad that she was happy, but still a little upset. "I just wish you told me earlier about your feelings for him. I mean… I understand that it must have been difficult, wondering if he knew you loved him, and hoping he felt the same way… I just don't like thinking that you were suffering and I didn't know. I could have helped you."

"I know, but it was just something I felt I had to go through alone."

I nodded. I could understand that. A silence stretched between us, but it wasn't awkward. I smiled and looked down at the blouse Rosie had in her hand. "So, what's on the agenda for today?"

Rosie shrugged dramatically. "Who cares? Let's get ready and go to the boys' room. We can decide from there."

We let ourselves into the boys' room about an hour later, not bothering to knock. Rosie was wearing the light yellow blouse I'd seen earlier, with a lace trimmed camisole underneath, and her favorite jean mini skirt. Sirius's face lit up when he saw her. His unhidden love for her was so obvious as to be nearly embarrassing. But the sweetness balanced it out. I looked at James and shrugged as Rosie and Sirius hugged as if they hadn't seen each other in days, instead of just an hour.

I sat down on Roseanne, the couch, and James soon joined me. "You look great," He said. I'd opted for something a bit more… _me_ and wore a white spaghetti strapped top, trimmed with pink and covered with old-fashioned pink roses, and a pair of jeans.

"Thanks!" I looked at Sirius and Rosie, who were now watching us with eyebrows raised.

James didn't seem to notice, only sat back in the couch, relaxing. Sirius smiled a little, and then asked the room "Are we ready to take the world by storm?"

"Always and forever!" I shouted, skipping out of the room. The others followed me out, and soon we were back in Diagon Alley.

"What's first?" I asked, and James grinned.

"Does it matter? Just close your eyes and point, and we'll start looking for something to eat there, no matter what kind of place it is." Sirius and Rosie didn't object, so I closed my eyes tight and spun in a circle. When I was too dizzy to have any idea which way was up, I threw my arm out, my index finger extended. I opened my eyes, and wished I hadn't. I shrieked as the ground tipped sideways, losing my footing. I was falling, and then I wasn't. James' arm was around my waist, keeping me from tumbling onto the ground. "Thanks," I said, attempting to get away from his arm.

He loosened his hold, but didn't let go completely. I attempted to step away and stumbled. "Lily…" He held on tightly again, and I staid upright.

"Sorry… I'll… yeah… wow." I said, still incredibly dizzy. How could the world be spinning so quickly?

I heard Rosie's voice behind me. "Lily? You okay?"

James answered for me. "She's a little dizzy."

"Understatement." I mumbled. Sirius' bark of a laugh sounded behind me, and I closed my eyes, trying to relax.

Without thinking, I tried to take a step away again, but James only held on tighter- my feet actually left the ground while I was still in his arms.

"Don't go." He said, and suddenly the terrible dream from last night filled my mind. I saw the flames with my closed eyes, eating everything like a ravenous dog. James was gone, gone forever. The flames told me so. I tried to open my eyes, tried to. I squirmed. Anything to get away from the fire, to save James from the flames. But I couldn't move, and then I saw something that I hadn't seen in my nightmare. A small, white china flower vase sat on the floor. Sprouting from the vase was a group of star-like flowers, with upright flower spikes of a shade of red that stood out even before the fire. I had never seen flowers like these before, and they were startlingly beautiful. And yet, these flowers injected me with colder fear than the flames that surrounded them, without touching them. As if there was something protecting them. I gasped.

I finally managed to jar my eyes open, and was startled to see that I wasn't in Diagon Alley anymore; I was in James' arms as he carried me up the stairs in the Leaky Cauldron. He was biting his bottom lip. I couldn't find the effort to get down and walk, even though he carried me like a precious baby- one arm under my knees, the other under my back. Exhaustion filled my every limb, and I found myself wanting to go back to sleep, but I was afraid to close my eyes for fear the nightmare would come back. How had I managed to fall asleep and dream while standing in Diagon Alley? Something about this wasn't right.

"James?" My voice was a horse whisper, but it was so loud in my ears, I cringed.

"Lily? You okay?" He was watching me now, his hazel eyes filled with concern.

"Something's wrong…" I whispered.

James bit his lip again, and he stopped moving. Something at the back of my mind told me we were at his room. Opening the door with a whispered spell, he walked through the room to the beds. Carefully, he set me down on the nearest one- the one I had slept in last night, pulling the covers up to my chin. Slowly, as if the effort could kill me, I rolled onto my side. James was crouching beside the bed, his hands folded on the bed as his chin rested on them.

"James? What do we do?" I asked.

He looked at the ceiling, as if it would suddenly tell him the answer, and then looked at me, into my eyes. "I don't know. I know you had the same nightmare, but I don't know why you had it when you were standing… This is so strange. Maybe we should get a doctor to look at you. Or Dumbledore."

"No. I'm not sick. I'm not dieing."

James stood up, putting a hand on my feet, one of which was barefoot, the other wearing a black ballet-flat. "You have tiny feet," he whispered, as if that would change anything. Shaking his head he told me, "You said it yourself. Something's not right. And Dumbledore can help, I'm sure of it."

I was about to reply when a knock on the door frame announced the arrival of Rosie and Sirius. Sirius had his hands behind his neck, while Rosie frowned with worry. She held a small bag. The two came into the bedroom area, Sirius looking like he was going to cry.

"I'm fine, you guys." My voice, still a whisper, told them otherwise. I was so tired, so tired, but couldn't sleep for fear of the nightmare. I couldn't bear to lose James again in the flames.

My head was pounding with the effort of staying awake. Rosie came to sit at the edge of my bed. "Lils, we got you a dreamless sleep potion. James told us about the nightmare you had last night."

I nodded, grimacing when the movements made the room spin. Why did this have to happen to _me_? I stopped sulking to thank Rosie with a half smile.

Rosie came around to kneel by James, helping me drink the potion down. She had just taken the small vile away when my eyes fell shut, and I was asleep.

**AN: Will the potion work? Are these really nightmares or something much more serious? And just what is so terrifying about a vase of flowers? Bonus points (and a review on one of _your_ fics) to whoever can tell me what flower it is?! I'll give you another hint: the genus contains only one species, with several good cultivars. Love, Peace, all that good stuff to you! Look forward to an update soon—I need to make up for abandoning you for months and months!  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: What do you mean I never update? Aren't I updating now? guilty feeling … Alright alright, I'm SORRY. Maybe this chapter will make up for it? **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter- it's as simple as that.**

When I awoke, it was either twilight or dawn- which one I could not be sure. Once again I was in bed with James, who was sleeping sweetly, his arm around my waist. Whispers in the bed next to ours told me that Sirius and Rosie were awake and talking about something. I opened my mouth to tell them I was awake and feeling much better, but closed it when I heard what they were talking about.

"You don't think it has anything to do with You-Know-Who, do you?" whispered Sirius.

Rosie gasped a little, "Of course I don't. Lily is just having nightmares. She probably fainted from being so dizzy this morning… she hadn't had anything to eat anyway. And then when she did she had a nightmare."

Sirius seemed to consider this, and then whispered back quietly, "But what about the last one? You can't have a nightmare when you've taken a dreamless sleep potion. I don't think you can even when you've fainted. And James said she'd had one last night, too. It has to be the same one, since during both of them today she cried out, "James, don't go," and wouldn't stop crying until he came and the nightmare went away, and I bet she was saying the same things last night, even though James wouldn't say."

'_I had a nightmare _again_? Even with the dreamless sleep potion?'_ And then I remembered, the flames reaching towards the ceiling, eating James alive while I watched, helplessly, all the while that vase of flowers that seemed to glare at me, somehow angrily…

Rosie was quiet for a moment, mulling things over. "Sirius… these aren't normal nightmares. What on earth are we going to do if they continue?"

"We'll go to Madame Pomfrey, that new nurse. Lily won't be happy about it, but she isn't happy now, either."

Rosie was silent, and I pictured her nodding. Careful not to move too much, I looked back at James, and was surprised so see that he had woken up, and perhaps had been awake the whole time. Not moving the arm that was still around my waist, he put his finger to his lips to mean "stay quiet."

I nodded slightly in reply, and continued to watch James, waiting for Sirius and Rosie to continue talking. They remained silent, though, and James soon got bored with just laying there, and whispered to the other two in the room, "I think she'll understand."

"What makes you say that?" Rosie asked, and James chuckled softly.

"You're her best friend," he said simply, "and she knows that any decision you make will be for her own good."

I could almost hear Rose smiling. "I guess…"

I couldn't handle staying quiet anymore, and took a deep breath, sitting up and stretching in a rather clichéd but hopefully believable picture of waking up. I rubbed my eyes like a toddler before surveying my surroundings, taking things in.

"Am I ever going to sleep in my own room while we're here?"

James moved his lips in a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Sure, if you want. Whether or not you'll be able to sleep _alone_ I'm not so sure."

I glanced over at Rosie and Sirius, cuddled together on the bed. They were still wearing what they had to Diagon Alley- I took this to mean that it was evening. "I had the nightmare again."

Rosie gave a sympathetic smile. "We know. We tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't calm down until James lay down with you…"

I nodded, blushing slightly. _'How embarrassing is that? I have terrible nightmares whenever I close my eyes for too long, and they won't go away until I'm in Potter's arms.'_ I closed my eyes for a moment, and back-tracked my thoughts. _'until I'm in James' arms.'_

"Do you feel okay?" James asked.

"Yeah, I feel fine. I've been stressed out lately… family stuff… maybe all I needed was some rest!"

They looked doubtful as I sprang out of bed, walking towards the middle of the room, my hands on my hips. "I'm _fine._ You guys look like shit, though."

"Thanks, Lily…" Rosie said sarcastically. I smiled.

Still, nobody moved. This was getting ridiculous. I wasn't about to die or anything. And even if I _was_ about to die I wouldn't want to spend it huddled up in this hotel room, freaking out my friends. "You guys. I'm serious. Let's go do something! What happened to that inspirational speech yesterday? About celebrating? Come on! Let's go celebrate being alive and young, and successful!"

My offer was tempting- too tempting, apparently, as Rosie grinned and sprang out of bed to grab my arm and drag me out the door, crying behind her, "We're going to go get ready!"

James and Sirius watched us go, eyebrows raised. We were going out, and I couldn't suppress the smile on my face.

Half an hour later James and Sirius knocked on our door. I half hopped, half walked to open the door while putting on my other shoe.

Rosie attacked Sirius in a huge hug. He caught her with her arms around his neck, carrying her much like James had carried me earlier today, although it was needless to say that Rosie wasn't being carried to bed because she passed out and had a terrifying nightmare in Diagon Alley before breakfast. The last two words I had thought reminded me that I was starving.

Rosie kicked her legs and Sirius put her down, and she modeled her outfit for him in front of the mini-fridge. "How do I look?"

She looked great, and she didn't need anyone to tell her that. She was wearing a pair of dark skinny jeans and peep-toed shoes that made her even taller. A low cut black camisole showed off a bit of cleavage, and a clunky belt around her waist completed the whole outfit.

"Way too sexy. If anyone so much as looks at you I'll bite their head off!" Sirius was grinning so hard I thought his face would split in two. He, for whatever reason, was wearing a long-sleeved button down shirt in a revolting shade of pink, and nice jeans.

"Are we ready to go then?" I asked, making my way for the door.

"Right-o!" Came the answer behind me, and I entered the hall, very aware of James' eyes on me.

As we walked down the hall, Sirius and Rosie walked arm-in-arm, and I couldn't help but be a little jealous of their happiness as a couple.

I was, at Rose's urging, dressed in a black knee-length dress with a red and white flowered pattern bordering the bottom hem and smocking at the waist. My feet were going to soon be uncomfortable in retro-looking red peep-toed shoes of faux-suede. I was now an entire 3 inches taller, though sadly, I was only eye-level with James' shoulders.

As we walked down to the Golden Snitch, a trendy nightclub at the end of Diagon Alley, I began to get That Feeling. You know, That Feeling you get when something bad is about to happen?

I probably should have heeded that little instinctual warning… but then again I also should have slept soundly in my own bed the night before, and Rosie should have done the same. My point? Things don't always go as planned, but when they don't, they don't necessarily end _badly_… And besides, everything happens for a reason, right? And I wasn't about to ruin the night out that _I planned_ just because "I got a bad feeling."

When we reached the Golden Snitch, I had abandoned That Feeling and was ready to party my heart out. I was, after all, seventeen years old, and this was my last Saturday night before we boarded the train for our last year of school. What did it matter if I had never gone "out" before?

Silencing charms kept the noise of the club from escaping out into the street, and an age-line crossed the door way, literally kicking out underage witches and wizards. We strolled right through the line, the noise hitting us like a wave as we entered the club.

"Sirius, go snatch a table for us over there, would you?" James shouted, and Sirius nodded, taking Rosie by the hand to lead her through the packed room of people. Rosie stopped a few seconds later, frustrated with his turtle-like speed, and got in front of Sirius, yanking him by the arm and spearing her way through the crowd with a very familiar Rosie spirit.

Turning back to face James, I saw him eying the crowd. He caught me watching him and gave a half smile. "So shall we go get the drinks, then?"

I nodded, letting James lead the way to the bar. Soon we found ourselves sandwiched between large groups of people much taller than myself. I grabbed James' hand- it would be ridiculous not to.

We finally reached the like-wise crowded bar, and James shouted a few orders to the bartender there, before turning to me and asking what I'd like. "Uhm? I don't know! Get whatever you think I'd like!" He nodded once, and turned back to the bartender again, shouting something I didn't hear.

I turned around, watching the crowd of people grow incredibly bigger. Out on the dance floor, couples were dancing with vigor to some Rob Thomas song. I caught a group of men eying me from the other end of the bar, smiling. The tallest, a built blonde man in green Hollister polo shirt and bootcut jeans, much like the jeans James was wearing, saluted me with his glass before drinking down its contents in one swig.

"He's too old for you," said a voice in my ear. I turned around, surprised, to find James levitating our drinks above everyone's heads. He grabbed my hand and led me towards a table where Sirius and Rosie were scanning the crowds for people they knew.

I waited until he could hear me before I retorted, "He is not. He wasn't interested anyway, he was just-"

"Flirting. Leave him alone- he has trouble written all over him."

"And you don't?" I snapped, sitting down in front of Rosie. James sat down beside me, not looking at me. He flicked his wand and our drinks settled down in front of us.

I surveyed my very orange cocktail glass before asking, "James, what did you get me?"

He smiled. "It's a Fuzzy Navel."

I laughed loudly. "Fuzzy Navel? Isn't that that really weak, fruity drink Petunia always talked about, Rosie? Because she couldn't hold her alcohol?"

Rosie laughed too, probably making James feel worse. "It _is! _Petunia would come home from some great "party" at like eleven at night, thinking she was drunk out of her mind off of these. Total girly drink!"

James sighed heavily. "I just thought we should start her off on something lighter. Seeing as she doesn't usually drink."

I put my hand on his arm, feeling bad now. "It's fine, I'm sorry I teased you." I took a sip of the drink, recognizing the taste of orange juice and something like peaches. "It's great!"

He was smiling now, his own glass untouched on the table. "I have to use the bathroom-- I'll be right back."

I watched him go, confused. Shrugging, I turned back to face Rosie and Sirius, who were both staring at me, matching looks of curiosity on their faces.

"What?" I asked.

Rosie shook her head, looking into her clear drink, clearly trying to hide her smile. I turned to Sirius, eyebrows raised.

"Don't worry about it," he told me, winking. I rolled my eyes, concentrating on my drink now.

"Shouldn't there be vodka in this thing?" I took a gulp, forgetting that vodka has basically no flavor. I shrugged.

Meanwhile, Rosie was trying to get Sirius to dance with her. Sirius, however, was obviously not in the mood. He was drinking something with a bluish tint to it, saying that he wouldn't leave me to wait all by my lonesome at the table, waiting for James.

"Uh. I could go with you, you know."

He didn't seem to hear me, as Rosie continued to beg and plead until Sirius blocked the flow of words pouring from her mouth with his own. I tried not to think about how quickly this was becoming a couples event instead of a group event, and soon realized I had already finished my drink. When Rosie and Sirius finally broke apart, I said loudly, "I can wait here for him. You guys go."

Rosie had her puppy dog eyes on, and Sirius finally gave up. "Thanks Lily-Poo." He downed the rest of his drink, letting out a hiss when he finished, and slammed the glass on the table.

"Meet us on the dance floor when he gets back!" Rosie shouted over her shoulder. I nodded, trying to smile, but it felt wrong.

_Once again, alone._

"Yeah. Party. Woo." I said sarcastically to myself, realizing dimly that for having been the person to demand that we have fun, I wasn't exactly having much of it.

I grabbed James' glass, vaguely thinking that he wouldn't mind, and took a gulp from his cocktail glass. I tried not to cough as the milky white liquid tasting somewhat like aniseed balls slid down my throat. A bit stronger than the Fuzzy, then.

I had downed the whole glass by the time I saw James chatting it up with a blonde at the end of the bar. She was wearing very little clothing, and had her head thrown back she was laughing so hard. I could hear her annoyingly high-pitched laughter even over the noise of the music. So James had ditched me to hook up with some blonde-headed bimbo. That did _wonders_ for my self confidence. It was fairly obvious any feelings he had once had for me were very much gone, and now he had gone off to try hooking up with some girl who looked like she worked the street corner for a living.

Ugh.

"I need a drink," I mumbled, although whatever James had gotten had already given me quite a buzz. I made a wide circle around the bar before approaching it at the other end, stumbling a little. I vaguely wondered what I had just drunk and _why_ it made it so hard to walk in straight line.

I turned around at a tap on my shoulder. "Go away, James!" I shouted, but was startled when I saw that it wasn't James, but the guy who had saluted me with his glass. The guy James had said was too old for me.

"Oh. Sorry, you're not… yeah."

He smiled, nodded once, and seemed to accept my apology. "Troubles with your boy?"

"He is _not_ my _boy_," I said, harshly.

"Oh, now?" He waved at the bartender, and I soon found a glass pressed into my hand. He grabbed my arm and led me to a table tucked away in the corner.

He held out his hand for me to shake. "I'm Jason,"

Shaking his hand, I said as clearly as I could, "I'm Lily.

He smiled. "Lily… pretty name for a pretty face."

I shrugged, taking a gulp. It was just as strong as James', but a lot sweeter- Almost sickly so.

Jason began to talk about something, not noticing or maybe not caring that I wasn't listening. I stared into my glass, then up at Jason. Trying my hardest not to listen to my own thoughts. Lalalaaaa not thinking…

Not thinking is not a good idea, but soon I was finished with whatever Jason had given me, and now I was very, very tipsy. Again, Jason didn't notice or didn't care. Either way, he stopped talking, and began to look at me expectantly.

"Huh?"

He chuckled. "That was a roundabout way of asking you to dance with me."

"Oh." I was suddenly aware of my bladder about to burst. "Uh, yeah, sure. I'm going to go use the bathroom first." I think I might have been slurring my words.

He nodded, smiling, seeming to understand. "I'll wait here for you."

I stumbled a lot, my high shoes making it difficult to walk (and the immense amount of alcohol in those last two drinks didn't help anything) but I made it to the bathroom and into the stall closest to the door. The noise of the club quieted as soon as I stepped through the doorway, like it had when we entered the club.

At the sinks, two girls reapplied their make up, gossiping loudly.

"You know who's _here_ don't you?" One said to the other.

"Who?"

"James Potter."

The other let out a familiarly annoying high-pitched laugh. "No kidding, Marie. I've only been talking to him this whole night!" The blonde-headed bimbo slut!

The other girl gasped dramatically. "_Talking_ to him? But I thought he ended it with you at the beginning of summer?"

"He _did_. But I caught him on his way back from the bathroom, and he was all nice and friendly, and so I told him about Jason- you know, that cute older guy who's been here every Saturday night for the past month just for the chance to dance with me? _Anyway_, you could see he was _very_ jealous. He kept looking around the club for him, probably so he could start a fight with Jason."

The other girl, Marie, seemed to be awed into silence. Having heard enough, I flushed the toilet and headed over to the sinks to wash my hands.

They didn't seem to sense any danger in continuing the topic in front of me, and Marie, who I could now see was a tall brunette with clothes rather similar to James' slut's, began to talk about James some more.

"I saw him wandering around the club, and I started talking to him. I hadn't seen him since we got out of school, you know. He said hello and asked how I was, but he left right after. Jasmine, he said he was '_looking for someone.'_"

James' slut, Jasmine, gave Marie a blank stare. "So? You didn't believe it, did you?" Marie was quiet. "Honey, that's just something men say when they don't want to talk to you. He wasn't looking for anyone."

Marie apparently wasn't convinced. "I think he's got a new girlfriend. Or one lined up for the spot, at least."

Jasmine snorted. "I wouldn't worry about that, if I were you."

Marie and Jasmine were quiet again. "May I help you?" Jasmine asked in a snotty voice. With a start I realized I was just standing there, watching and listening to their conversation.

"No hablo ingles." I said, ironically the only sentence I knew in Spanish. Of course, they could hardly believe that "I didn't speak English" seeing as I couldn't quite hide my English accent, but still. Logic seems silly in times like these.

"Whatever," Marie said, tossing her brown curls over her shoulder.

"Cute dress," Jasmine murmured appraisingly.

I hurried out of the bathroom, the tiled floors and walls making me dizzy. So James knew that girl, Jasmine, before. And wanted to hook up with her again. And apparently so did Jason, the _only guy_ who seemed interested in me. Wonderful.

I stumbled down the hallway back into the club, confused for a moment when my arm was yanked and I couldn't go any further. "Where do you think you're going?" James asked. I turned to face him, angrily.

"Your slut- sorry, I mean _girlfriend_ Jasmine is gossiping in the bathroom. She should be out soon." I tried to go back into the club again, but James still had my arm.

"What are you talking about? Jasmine? She's not my girlfriend. Lily, are you alright?" Concern filled his voice. How _dare_ he be concerned about me? He had _no right_.

I leaned against the wall, glaring at him. He seemed lost for words. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed the milky white glass from his hand and took a gulp. This whole alcohol thing was starting to grow on me.

"Lily, there's absinth in that. It's way too strong for you. You can't drink that."

I took another drink, glaring at him angrily. "Don't tell me what I can't do!"

James looked around the hallway, clearly stressed. "Lily I'm _serious_. Drink it and you'll be wasted for sure, especially on top of whatever that creep at the bar gave you."

I tossed my hair over my shoulder, hitting the wall with my hand as I did it. "Well, I already had one. So don't worry 'bout it. I got awful bored waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for you to come back to me."

James ran his fingers through his hair. "Damn it, she's drunk." He said to the ceiling. I suddenly felt bad for ignoring the ceiling this whole time. I had no idea he was willing to participate in conversation.

I shrugged and took another large gulp, the alcohol burning my throat satisfactorily. He took the glass from my hand, saying "that's it. I'm cutting you off."

"Why?" I whined, "You're not my _mother._"

"No, but I do love you. Come on, let's go get Sirius and Rosie. We're out." He put his arm around my shoulder and steered me into the club, grabbing me by the shoulders when I stumbled, nearly knocking into several people at the bar. "Never mind then… I'll leave a message with the bartender."

Holding my shoulders firmly he shouted something to the bartender, who nodded once, then steered me towards the exit. "James, you're dumb…" was the last thing I said before passing out outside the Golden Snitch.

**AN: Expect a next chapter soon- it will probably be from James' POV, seeing as Lily is totally wasted. Remember- she's little. Not much body weight at all, and she has **_**no**_** experience drinking, so **_**obviously**_** James was right in giving her a Fuzzy Navel to start! Anyway, please review! You'll get your next update faster that way… ******


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